Rambling

One of the problems with having no one to talk to is you write big rambling blog posts, then second guess yourself and delete them.  The short version - All is well, I'd rather be hanging out with the people I love, and I'm a little nuts.  So basically nothing has changed.

Here's another pretty picture.  Just so everyone knows I'm really alive out here.

Rubbing It In

That sign in the middle is just rubbing it in don't you think? You'll notice that, unfortunately, I was in the right lane.

However, at least my devotion to work was rewarded today. I actually found some useful stuff. Nothing like a war to make people pay attention I guess.

Atmosphere

This morning it was really foggy here, and as I was driving to the archives this morning I had music from the Twilight movies playing.  (Thanks to my smart husband for reminding me to bring music)  Is it possible for something to seem both melancholy and delightful at the same time?  Anyway, it was gorgeous with all of the trees peeking in and out of the fog.  Which is a good thing because I had a sucky research day.  I didn't find one single piece of information that even applied to our project - yuck.  Hopefully tomorrow will be better. 

I hope you all aren't tired of tree pictures yet, because I'm about to inflict another one on you.

The Glory of Trees Part II

So whatever my hotel room lacks in the scenery department the Oregon State Archives makes up for.  This is the building itself.

And right across the parking lot is a little stream with a gorgeous mossy bridge going over the road.  It also rained like crazy on my way home, so I feel like I'm getting the Pacific Northwest experience.

Joyce Kilmer Was Right

So I made it to Salem, OR.  I'll be here for a week doing research for the American West Center, while my very sweet husband continues to keep things running back at the ranch.  

I have to admit that my hotel is absolutely unscenic.  The room is huge and comfy enough but it has a right off the freeway location with a charming view of the parking lot.    However, the drive down here from Portland, the one I was so nervous about, was beautiful.  There's still plenty of fall color here and that combined with the pine trees makes for some stunning scenery.  I forget how truly lovely it is out here.  I have to admit it's taking quite a bit of will power not to play hooky and make a break for the coast :)  There's a reason the photo above has been my blog banner for so long.

And if you're wondering what on earth the title of this post means see the link below:
http://www.bartleby.com/104/119.html

Nervous Making

So apparently at the moment they're dealing with some sort of bomb threat at the Salt Lake City airport.  Fabulous,  just what a girl wants to hear three days before flying out of that airport.  As if that isn't enough CNN brought us this article yesterday:

http://www.cnn.com/2010/CRIME/10/27/virginia.plot.arrest/index.html?iref=allsearch

If I'm reading the article right, this happened while I was in DC and at metro stops I used every day.   Maybe there's a reason I have an anxiety problem.

Guilt Trips

I have always been one of those people with a weakness when people use guilt as a tool of manipulation.  My Mom, who is a miracle in most aspects, will admit that she was quite good at this when I was a kid and even gave me the magnet on my fridge that says "My Mother Is A Travel Agent for Guilt Trips."

By the time I reached early adulthood I was aware of how easily I could be manipulated this way and tried to start putting some distance between myself and anybody who used this to freely.  I think one of my favorite things about the man I married is that he doesn't do this - at all.  In fact, he goes out of his way to tell me I'm a good and kind person.

However, I still let guilt get to me sometimes.  On some level, I do think that there is a fine line between empathy/concern and guilt, which does make navigating the issue a bit harder, and I suppose there are times when we need to feel guilty.  Most of the time though, I'm feeling guilty over trivialities that are meaningless in the eternal scheme of things.

Someone who doesn't really know me that well, I won't say who, did their best to use guilt manipulation on me today.   I fended it off with some gentle rapier wit and felt triumphant and not one bit guilty.  I think this is a good thing.    I want my behavior to be motivated by enthusiasm and love, not worry and guilt.   Here's hoping I can remember that.